How to Handle Stage Fright or Paruresis (Shy Bladder Syndrome)

Stage fright whilst urinating, Shy Bladder Syndrome, or Paruresis to call it by its scientific name, affects up to 14% of the male population. It is an inability to pass urine whilst another person is in the room, or the perception of someone else being conscious that you're having a pee, or in fact that everyone around you is paying attention to you while you're relieving yourself. This condition is easily surmountable and is nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about.

There is no single cause of Shy Bladder Syndrome.

Many people find this to be a symptom of a larger self-confidence problem. Men can be very conscious of how their penis compares in size to other men, and public urinals are one of the few arenas that a man would be expected to 'release the beast' in front of other men. Urban legends about the average penis size can easily add to this worry and often the only exposure to another man's penis would be in the unrealistic world of pornography.

Often Shy Bladder Syndrome begins in adolescence and can frequently be found in males from very conservative backgrounds, where sex and other bodily functions are not discussed openly. Feeling that urination should be during a time of absolute privacy may increase anxiety when one is expected to do so in close proximity to others.

For others, exposing ones penis in front of other males can be a time of great vulnerability. Not being comfortable in the surroundings, in a place of suspect safety or near people that are not felt to be trustworthy can prevent an easy release. This is a primal fear, from days when there was danger in the darkness, and venturing into a hostile world to 'spend a penny' was a lot more risky than just a quick visit to the bathroom.

Being able to pee when and where you like (within reason of course) is a skill that we overlook all the time. It is certainly one of the few advantages men have over women, and having the ability to pass urine when necessary is something many of us take for granted.

Imagine going to a ballgame and needing to pee desperately, but finding yourself unable to do so in the presence of other men. There is a lot of noise, people are loud, excited, testosterone is flying around the place. It can be intimidating for a more sensitive soul and the worry of 'can I?' 'can't I?' with regards to emptying the bladder could mean that you'd have to sit through the whole game in quite extreme discomfort.

The most obvious solution is to be more confident in those sort of situations. Easier said than done. Some actions you can take to improve matters are:

• Distract yourself - The more you think about it, the more likely you will 'freeze'
• Make sure you really need to go - Nothing's worse than trying and failing and this will reinforce the belief that you can't go. The fuller your bladder is, the easier you will find it.
• Be confident by acting confident - Many of the most confident people you meet are really quite scared inside, but they act as though they were confident and therefore become confident. Adopting the body language and speech patterns of someone you know is perceived as very confident will definitely help.

This page on Shy Bladder Syndrome has some excellent resources on how to discover how anyone can overcome shy bladder syndrome.

You'll want to be able to go into any public toilet and use the urinal without anxiety.Adopting a confident approach, knowing that every man can feel exposed or unsure of himself, and many act in a loud or brash manner to over-compensate for those feelings, will help you conquer your stage fight.